


Super Soldier Shrinkage

by haku23



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, pre-serum steve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-18
Updated: 2012-08-12
Packaged: 2017-11-08 01:45:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/437760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haku23/pseuds/haku23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In hindsight he should have realized that nothing Loki did was harmless, but then again, no one ever expected to start shrinking to the previous version of themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I just can't stay away from de-serum'd Steve so here's another. As usual my explanation is MAGIC DID IT though I guess that's not much of a difference from canon. This is a fill for a kink meme prompt!

In hindsight he should have tried to deflect the blast with his shield but it had still been flying through the air towards one of Loki's minions at the time and Natasha had been in trouble right _then_. So he'd jumped in front of the blast because he's a super soldier-it's kind of his thing. The thing he's struck with though immediately isn't pain, it's 'something isn't right'. When he gets to his feet there's no blood or even a wound, almost as if the shot had phased right through him which really wouldn't surprise him considering who they're fighting. There's still a tingling in his muscles but it's easy enough to ignore when there are more pressing matters to attend to. Like trying to hold off the enemy while Thor tries to reason with his brother. He's not entirely sure that will work since it's never worked before however he isn't about to get between a god and his brother. 

 

“Thanks,” Natasha holds out her hand and he takes it to pull himself up.

 

“You alright, Cap?” Clint asks him through the communicators. He's got a bird's eye view from where he's perched and the others aside from Natasha had been busy. Steve tries not to think of Clint as Big Brother.

 

“Fine. Avengers, we've got to keep the fight contained to this area, there's a school nearby full of kids-the last thing we need is for the conflict to reach them.”

 

“You got it, Captain,” Iron Man replies, cutting a line in front of Loki's forces with his repulsors. He lands beside Steve loudly and addresses the odd looking troll-like creatures currently trying to take over Manhattan, “you want to be a big uh...whatever you things are? Try crossing this line.”

 

There's a split second of calm until they charge across the line, waving their weapons and yelling wildly in a language they can't understand. Natasha gets first blood with her Widow's Bite which only seems to make the things angrier before they fall over after they're tazed to hell. She turns to Iron Man and they exchange 'well it works' shrugs. Steve throws his shield, taking out a few trolls while Natasha is throwing others to the ground with her legs-it's still impressive no matter how many times he sees it. Iron Man is alternating between punching and repulsors, Clint is lighting them up with arrows and Hulk is...smashing. He looks up to see the progress of Thor-it seems to be going well- still, they can't hold the line forever. The tingling in his muscles gets stronger as the fight wears on until it's something closer to pain but he can't exactly stop to rest because he's a little bit sore.

 

Thor eventually gets Loki to call off what's left of his people however he still manages to escape capture anyway.

 

“My apologies, friends, it seems that my brother has once again disappeared.”

 

“Don't worry about it for now, Thor, we have clean up to do,” Steve shakes his head, “think you can handle the heavy lifting, Iron Man?”

 

“Going to pretend I didn't hear that, Cap.”

 

The police trickle in as they're in the middle of picking up any debris left over from the attack and send them home where JARVIS has taken the liberty of ordering them their after battle foods of choice. Bruce still has shawarma as if that's the only thing acceptable to eat after a fight because that's what they'd eaten the first time but the others have a mix of pizza, poptarts and what is probably something Russian. Tony always has some sort of fast food while Steve prefers to just eat whatever is left over from last night's meal. There's still enough pizza for him left over from Clint though as usual so he doesn't say no when it's offered to him. They sit in comfortable silence in front of the television watching some sort of sports movie until Tony changes the channel to Deadliest Warrior which is easily one of Thor's favourite shows. 

 

“These men fight with such valour and yet I have not seen nor heard of them on Asgard,” Thor always says in between bites of poptarts as if men acting like they're from the Spetnaz or are samurai all go to Valhalla. No one has told him yet they're just actors of course.

 

“Must be the time lag between the realms. Asgard gets all the best shows late,” Tony says and Thor buys it because he's got as much guile as a golden lab and expects others to be the same.

 

“So, just making conversation here but have you ever thought of punching your brother in the face, Thor?” Clint...Well, Thor is mostly right about Clint although Steve hasn't figured out whether it's on purpose or not.

 

“Barton why don't you go back to your nest?” Natasha's stone cold gaze lingers on him until he shuts up about assaulting siblings. Even if it could be argued that Loki did need some sense knocked into him.

 

“I just want to know where they get the data for this, I mean, they say they designed it themselves but I'm not buying it.”

 

“Really, conspiracy theories about Deadliest Warrior?” Tony smirks, “you know, you've got a point, Banner, these guys don't look like the type to program their own tech.”

 

And then after turning to Natasha, “but then again, Fallaces sunt rerum species.” 

 

The corners of her lips turn up ever so slightly, only made perceptible by the human eye thanks to the shadows from the overhead lighting-Steve figures it's some sort of in-joke because everyone he's talked to says Latin is a dead language. He smiles too, though and closes his eyes as he rests his head on the back of the plush couch to better soak in the atmosphere surrounding him. This is nice. Despite everything that had happened before with the team hanging onto peace and cooperation by their fingernails they're still all here together in the tower talking like friends. It dulls the aches in his body at the very least, puts his mind at ease until the next time Loki inevitably escapes or some other villain wants their time in the spotlight.

 

“Everything alright, Cap? You took the full force of Loki's temper tantrum beam there,” it's Tony, Tony who he fights with almost daily, Tony who pretends to be a lot worse of a guy than he is, Tony who had had him utterly fooled up until he'd hitched a ride on a nuke. Tony who for a minute there had made him think of Bucky even though they would both abhor the comparison he's sure. 

 

“Fine, the fall hurt more than whatever he shot me with.” 

 

“If you say it was magic, Thor, I'm changing the channel to What Not to Wear.” 

 

“I do not understand your threat.” 

 

~~**~~

 

Steve wakes slowly, his muscles hurting more than is probably necessary to get the point across that he should really make sure not to schedule his heroing on days he's been assaulting the gym equipment as well. If it hadn't been cloudy out there would have been sunlight trickling in through the small gap in the curtains which have been drawn at the first sign of him stirring but he's done more than run in bad weather before, some overcast conditions aren't about to stop him from jogging. His room is fairly modest despite the entire floor he inhabits being ridiculously extravagant otherwise. Tony had waved off his complaints about spending too much money because he really did have his own apartment in Brooklyn saying that really, he had more money than he could probably ever spend. Probably. That had made Steve frown but it isn't the Depression anymore and people in the future are stupid with money. When he'd said that to Natasha on the first night they'd all spent together in the tower she'd just shrugged and said “let them be stupid”. 

 

When he steps under the spray of the shower he groans, normally he would save it for after his run but by the time he'd made it to his room he'd been almost falling asleep on his feet. Drowning in the shower didn't seem like a very fitting death for Captain America or Steve Rogers. The water feels better than it has any right being and he's already going through a more challenging exercise routine in his head as he lathers his hair. If he's getting this sore after a couple hours of fighting it means he's slacking. Of course Clint and Natasha generally lounged all day after one if they could(or as close to what could be called lounging by Natasha) but they also didn't have the serum to keep them going. 

 

“JARVIS is there anyone in the gym right now?” 

 

“Seeing as it is 1am, Captain Rogers, the answer is no.” 

 

“What?” 

 

They'd gone to their respective floors after one definitely so it can't be 1am unless he managed to sleep through the entire day. It's happened before after infiltrations of Hydra camps but never after the ice. He holds up a hand to block the spray of the shower as he looks up to the ceiling. 

 

“What day is it?” 

 

“August 23rd, Captain.” 

 

That can't be right either. “JARVIS how long have I been asleep?” 

 

“By my clock, roughly two days, sir.” 

 

Hadn't anyone tried to wake him? 

 

“Attempts were made to rouse you however they were unsuccessful. Mr. Odinson was particularly thorough in testing his...hypotheses.” 

 

Thor has an air horn from god knew where because it hadn't been gifted to him by any of the Avengers. That's really enough said. Steve rinses his hair then steps onto the bath mat before pulling a towel off of the rung, “I must have been more tired than I thought.” 

 

“Indeed, Captain. Shall I prepare the gym for your morning workout?” 

 

“Well I guess it is technically the morning,” Steve says mostly to himself while towelling himself dry. 

 

“For once you and Mr. Stark would be in perfect agreement, sir.”

 

“Not sure if I'm happy about that,” he folds the towel and hangs it up again, “but I shouldn't complain, Tony is a smart man, a real asset to the team, I mean.” 

 

Jeez, he's talking to a computer. A very intelligent computer but still a computer. “Shall I tell him so?” 

 

“I don't think he needs the ego boost.” 

 

“Quite right, Captain Rogers.”

 

A very, very intelligent computer. He's seen that Space Odyssey movie despite Tony telling him that he shouldn't and he really shouldn't have. Luckily JARVIS shows no signs that the Avengers will be yelling “open the door, JARVIS!” any time soon. His workout clothes consist of a t-shirt and a pair of track pants which he'd been told(and agreed) were way more comfortable than slacks while working out. He wraps his hands once he gets down to the gym and JARVIS turns on the lights for him then goes to work fighting imaginary enemies. If it hurts more than normal, well he just ignores it. 

 

At least until the chest pains start. 

 

“I am sensing respiratory distress, Captain, shall I call the medical staff?” 

 

Steve shakes his head, makes sure JARVIS knows that the noise he'd made had supposed to be the word no. He takes a knee, tries to slow his breathing to something less than panicked gasping and then the pain ebbs, disappears. There's still a slight wheeze to his breaths when he gets up but that too stops after a sip of water. Okay, that hadn't been normal. He rubs at the centre of his chest with his hand as he had done so many times after an asthma attack before the serum. But that hadn't been one of those. It couldn't have been.

 

Could it? 


	2. Chapter 2

“I would appreciate if you didn't tell anyone about this,” Steve pulls his shirt back over his head, “it's probably nothing.” 

 

Bruce is nodding as he puts the blood sample away, “doctor-patient confidentiality is in effect. Not that I'm a medical doctor.” 

 

“Thank you, Doctor Banner.” 

 

“If it gets any worse you should probably go to an actual medical practitioner, I don't have a good track record with this kind of thing,” he kind of trails off, miming monster claws with his hands. 

 

“Maybe not, but you're the only doctor around I trust.” 

 

“Have you heard of a Doctor McCoy? You might have better luck talking with him. He's big, blue, and hairy so you can't really miss him.”

 

Steve nods but has no intention of seeing anyone else, at least not yet, and Banner probably knows it. He's had enough of being stuck with needles and having blood drawn for two lifetimes. No news is ever good news when it comes from doctors, is his usual way of thinking thanks to the time before the serum. 'Bad news, you have asthma', 'bad news, you seem to have developed pneumonia again', 'we can't possibly let you enlist, kid'. He's had enough of that, too so he goes back to the gym and ignores how easily he gets winded. 

 

~~**~~

 

There's a feast laid out for them after the battle-Steve had tried to avoid it by saying he really needed a shower but Tony had said that it would go to waste otherwise and Steve knows it had been a ploy to get him to eat yet he skips the shower to sit at the table with the others. Thor is of course devouring his half of the table while the others consume a more modest amount in between chatting about the fight with the Wrecking Crew. Clint's ankle is wrapped with an ACE bandage and Tony's armour will need repairs thanks to the enchanted weapons the crooks wielded. Steve had barely managed getting his head caved in by one, his reflexes slower than normal, but he has no injuries to speak of. 

 

Tony is not so subtly watching him pick at his food. He should have been hungry after all of that fighting however he found that he ate less and less over the past few weeks. It probably had to do with the fact that his muscles are getting weaker, smaller. Steve isn't one to gaze at himself in mirrors but there's a difference. No one else has said anything, but they have to have noticed. 

 

“Not hungry, Cap?” 

 

“I ate some.” 

 

“Feeling alright?” 

 

Tony is just being a good teammate and making sure their unofficial leader isn't slowly wasting away to a useless nothing of course. It still makes Steve's hackles rise no matter how good his intentions. 

 

“Fine.” 

 

He glances at Banner who has his eyes firmly on his plate-guiltily even. Or maybe it's the fact that he's keeping a secret that makes Steve suspicious. A deep breath, then he picks up his fork again. Maybe he is hungry and the stress of hiding things is making him lose his appetite. Regardless of that he should still eat, his body still needs fuel in spite of what his mind has to say on the matter. 

 

“Really? Just having a team moment here, you know, making sure we're all healthy.” 

 

“Lay off, Stark.” 

 

“Someone sounds guilty.” 

 

“Give it a rest, Stark,” Natasha says in a tone that signals that the conversation is, in fact, over. 

 

They all know, don't they? They must. They have to. Bruce told them all, didn't he? Steve clenches his jaw, pushes his chair back, and stands, “I'm going for a run.”

 

They all know. They all know. They want to get rid of him but he's not going anywhere. He's not that frail, helpless kid from Brooklyn anymore. He's Captain America. Still Brooklyn made, still nothing special but not weak. Not no use. The fact that he makes it only two blocks before he has to stop because of the pain building in his chest is something that should be overlooked.  
  
It's a moment after he's taken refuge in an alleyway to catch his breath that he hears the telltale crash of a collision the yells for help. The most he gets before he starts running towards the person is that someone is trapped and he makes it there before his body can decide that it needs to rest again. The scene is mayhem-an 18 wheeler is on its side and two other cars have been totalled.  
  
“What happened here?” Steve stands up straight though he should really be sitting down.  
  
One of the onlookers just yells, “that truck man, he went right through a red light! Smoked those two cars! The chick in the red car hasn't come out yet. Hey-where you goin'?!”  
  
There's no time for chatting if someone is trapped in a car-the passenger's side is totally caved in and he can smell gasoline as he gets closer to the smoking sportscar. From the outside he can clearly see the woman inside passed out and bleeding so he grabs onto the handle of the driver's door and yanks. It doesn't come free.  
  
“Get out of there, mister, it's gonna blow!”  
  
If he hadn't been so stupid and left in a huff he would have had his shield on his back but he doesn't. It makes the entire situation more dire in a second-he can't protect himself or anyone else without it. But he can't just leave her inside to die. With both hands this time he pulls and the metal squeals as it starts to yield under even his diminished strength.  
  
“Ma'am, I need you to wake up!” he shouts despite how trying to separate door from the rest of the car is taking up most of his breath. She doesn't stir, of course, even when he finally rips the door off with a grunt.  
  
“That dude's Captain America!” someone screams.  
  
After that there's an entire crowd spurring him on. It's also when the car explodes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I lied and put up another chapter early. C: Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

A steady beeping wakes him from his no doubt medically induced slumber-his eyes refuse to open for a full minute until willpower alone peels his eyelids away from his cheeks. There's a heaviness in his head that isn't chased away by the florescent lighting and when he looks to his left and sees a Tony Stark shaped lump resting with its head on the edge of the bed it takes him a minute to realize that Tony had been here awhile. His van dyke is overgrown and there are darker circles than normal around his eyes. He wonders why he's here because for all of their ability to work well on a team they fight more often than not. When his shifting around to find a method of escape from the wires and tubes assaulting his body wakes Tony though, he doesn't ask why he's sleeping here.

 

“Steve, hi. That uh...” Tony is supposed to be a smooth talking guy. Steve manages not to laugh at him, “that was one hell of a run.”

 

“When can I get out of here?” he starts on pulling out the iv from his inner arm sending the machines shrieking like a bunch of upset birds. His arm is smaller than he remembers and bruised where they'd missed the vein a couple of times. 

 

Tony jumps to his feet and slaps his hand over the line in the back of Steve's hand before he can get to it,“Woah, hey, slow down there, big guy.” 

 

The glare he levels Stark with has to be nothing short of poisonous because he hates hospitals as much as Tony does so he should have found an escape buddy in him at the very least. “I'm fine, now let me get out of here before the nurses come running.”

 

“As much as I, you know, admire your wanting to stick it to the man I need you to not...rip out all of your ivs. For awhile.” 

 

“Give me three good reasons why I shouldn't.” 

 

“Christ, who knew Captain America is a horrible patient. Okay, gonna strike you a deal here. You, that means you, stay here as long as they tell you to and I, that's me, will give you anything your patriotic heart desires. A star spangled banner playing shield, a bunch of shirts that say FREEDOM on them, whatever you want. Seriously. Anything.” 

 

“I don't want your bribes, Tony,” and he's already going for the oxygen tubes in his nose because hospitals are exposed, hospitals are bad news, and beyond all that's he's _fine_ _._

 

“No no no okay. Listen, you're going to be okay, I just...as your teammate-you like the whole team thing, right? Yeah-am worried for your well being and-Steve, dammit leave it-” 

 

They fight over every medical related thing that he's been stuck with until all of the needles lie on the bed next to him and the macaroni shaped tube that had been in his nose is on his lap. “I'm _fine_ , Stark. Now get me out of this place or I'm going by myself.” 

 

“Fine. There, you heard it. Fine. Come on, the doctors are only not here because they're kind of afraid of you by the way because last time you gave them all lectures on what it meant to be free in America. You were pretty out of it. Horse tranquilizers.” 

 

Tony hovers around him as he slams down the bed railing then swings his feet around to hang off the side. He looks down at the blue gown they've got him in, “my clothes?”

 

“You mean you don't want to show off your bare-never mind. They're in the locker there.”

 

It had to have been all planned, putting the mirror there so that there would be no way for Steve to miss looking in it. He halts as soon as he realizes that his reflection doesn't match up with what he should have looked like. There's still a hint of what he used to be-Captain America-in the man standing in front of him but soon even that will drain away if things keep going as they have been. He's shorter, thinner, and just seeing that makes his breath come too quickly like he can't get enough air. 

 

“I'm fine.”

 

Tony doesn't say anything until Steve turns on him, saying it with more conviction as though that will make the image in the mirror fade, “I'm fine.” 

“Yeah, Cap.” 

 

“Everyone else...Do they know about this?” 

 

“They know you're in the hospital.” 

 

“Good. Let's go, Tony.” 

 

“I know I'm running the risk of sounding like Pepper here but you need to stay somewhere where they can figure out what's happening blah blah blah worried etc,” Tony waves his hands around a lot as he says it like he's trying not to make a big deal out of it by making it into a joke but he'd said _worried._ Steve isn't sure why Tony, Tony who always seems to have a problem with his orders, would be worried about anything. It would give him more freedom to do as he liked if Steve weren't there to rein him in. 

 

“I know what's happening or at least enough to know that none of your future inventions is going to help at all,” then in his mission voice, “move it, Stark.” 

 

“Let it be recorded for posterity that I did tell you this is a bad idea.” 

 

He throws on his clothes and turns to Tony, “you bring the suit?” 

 

“Oh no, I'm not carrying half pint Captain America on my boot,” a pause, “unless...he asks nicely?”

 

“Put on the suit. Please.” 

 

He has the briefcase beside him of course along with Steve's shield which probably would have been where Steve could reach it if Tony weren't going off on a weird being worried tangent that Steve doesn't quite understand and insisting that Steve didn't _need_ his shield, that Tony would carry it. Which isn't happening. Steve grabs it before he can even get his paws on it and jams his arm through the straps. 

 

“Kidnapping Captain America, is this going on my personal record, Steve?” he asks as they burst through the window on the other side of the room. Steve isn't sure why that was necessary but it feels good that Tony will still ride recklessly through windows even if Steve is in a slightly bad way.

 

“Only if you tell someone it was you.” 

 

“My lips are sealed.” 

 

He doesn't get to see them flying to Avengers Tower. This time he wakes up to Tony saying “Steve wake up” and “I killed Captain America” over and over, his voice getting rougher with each repetition. Tony shouldn't be this upset. 

 

“I'm fine,” he says around a cough. He's in his room-his shield is beside him mostly because he's still gripping tightly to it-Tony isn't wearing the suit now, just a more rumpled version of the clothes he'd been in at the hospital. 

 

“You're fine? Funny story, Steve, you passed out in the five minutes it took me to fly you back here. Not really that fine.” 

 

“Lay off, Tony.”

 

“Fuck. You think-,” Tony opens his mouth, shakes his head like there's a disconnect between what he should say and what he wants to, “Because you're the only one allowed to be reckless on this team, aren't you?” 

 

“No, say it. Say what you were going to say,” he sits up though Tony's hand is on his chest trying to keep him down. He's not yet weak enough that that would be enough to hold him place luckily, “I want to hear it.”

 

A laugh, “you think that just because you've got the serum is doesn't...fuck. No. I'll be down in the workshop if you need me.” 

 

This is confusing. He doesn't have time to worry about what Tony's words mean once the others file(Thor almost just breaks through the wall in his haste to get inside actually) into his room. He isn't sure how much time has passed because he's fairly certain he'd passed out again at some point however the Avengers come. Widow and Clint hang back, nearly identical frowns on their faces while Banner puts on the kicked puppy look again and Thor yells about being glad to have his brother in arms safely back home again. 

 

“So what's going on with you anyway, Cap? Forget to take a dose of your super Gatorade?” Clint asks and Natasha elbows him. 

 

“Nothing, it's just...I'll be fine in a couple of days. Think you can handle Widow running the show for that long?” 

 

“You want _me_ to run this pack of animals?” she sounds dubious but she usually does. 

 

“What about Stark, isn't he second in command?” there's no way that Clint's eyebrows could get anymore raised than they already are.

 

“The time is now 9:30, friends.” 

 

It takes him a minute to work that out, “oh. Storage Wars is on, we should go watch that. Tony isn't ready to be in command, Clint, I think we all know that.” 

 

“Ooh, burn.” 

 

“Its not a burn. It's the truth.” 

 

“Someone should bring down some aloe gel for Stark for that burn.” 

 

“Shut up, Barton,” Natasha says. 

 

“Ma'am yes ma'am!” 

 

They go watch Storage Wars leaving him alone in his room for an hour after he waves them ahead-Steve isn't sure why they're so addicted however he's not about to let them focus on how different he looks. They haven't said anything about his stature so as long as he doesn't end up in his Captain America uniform it will be okay. He doesn't even know if it will still fit. That twists in his gut like a knife. Would people even think of him as Captain America anymore if he couldn't find a way to reverse all of this? No, probably not. 

 

He tries to come to grips with that before he drops off to sleep again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for continuing to read and your lovely comments! : D The bursting through the window thing is a reference to one of the old comics where Tony just...kind of flies out a window in the suit and basically says "I forgot to open the window, blast!" which never fails to make me laugh.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hey.”

 

He sets the remote down and looks over his shoulder, “Tony?” 

 

“Yeah, thought you could use some company.” 

 

Steve shrugs, letting the sound of swing music fill in the spaces not filled with conversation. He isn't going to say no to Tony's company, not after he'd helped him escape the hospital a few days ago. Fury had called the morning after hopping mad that he'd just busted himself out of “a god damn SHIELD facility” as if he hadn't done it before. 

 

They don't talk about why he's awake at 3am when he's been an early to bed, early to rise kind of man for the entire time he's lived with the Avengers and before because nightmares amongst soldiers or superheroes aren't anything new. Not even the dreams where he can't catch his breath. This time though, this time had been a mix of the two big ones. Sometimes he dreamt of the seconds before the ice and others he dreamt of being small again. This dream he had been being smothered by the ice as himself before the serum, powerless to escape as Peggy and Howard all walked right by him no matter how hard he yelled because he hadn't been Captain America, he'd been just tiny Steve Rogers. And nobody cared about him. 

 

“Found the music station, I see. Abusing it to listen to your old man music, Rogers, I'd say I'm surprised but I'm not,” Tony gives him a lopsided smile and flops down next to him on the couch.

 

“Need something?” it's not unlike Tony to show up unannounced to places but he's never really made it any secret that he hates taking orders from Steve. Which says nothing about how they fight over almost anything. He can't deny though that it makes him feel at home-a good argument had always made the Commandos feel closer knit after the anger had cleared and Tony isn't _stupid_. He only ever fights for something, really fights for something if he believes in it. That time about CSI not withstanding. 

 

“What, I'm not allowed to sit here now? Is this the cool kid's table, Steve, is that what I'm experiencing here?” 

 

He snorts and he knows Tony gets his meaning. They don't say anything else-surprising considering Tony never shuts up even during movies, especially during movies-but it's okay. There's music and the company isn't bad and Tony's head falls onto his shoulder at some point between the second playing of Sing, Sing, Sing. Steve doesn't move away. 

 

~~**~~

 

There's no way the others don't notice how much he's changed over the weeks after the car accident. They don't say anything but he catches the way their eyes linger over the curve of his thin shoulders and they stop letting him do things by himself like reaching for the coffee will break his spine in two. Tony joins him sometimes on the couch at night if JARVIS tells him Steve is awake which is nice, Tony makes him hold his tools while he works on something impossibly small while the music on the TV goes or even brings him down to the workshop itself where his robots fuss over blenders. He fights with him some nights, when they can't discuss the topic they're debating like rational adults and that's nice too. Then an inhaler finds its way onto his bedside table. It feels heavy in his hands and Steve makes it to the elevator before it really hits him. 

 

He might not turn back. 

 

They've been mercifully without any attacks lately but he isn't naive enough to think that'll last. He also isn't stupid enough to think the others will let him join in. Loki caused this, so all he has to do is find Loki and get him to reverse the spell. His first destination is Thor's room which brings no results because as JARVIS informs him Thor is spending the weekend with Jane. Steve is pretty sure that Thor had told him that however Thor tells him a lot of things. Thor tells him how he should go naked about his living quarters more often. Thor tells him that he has discovered a most interesting Midgardian video on the Youtube and shows him horrifying things. It's fine, Steve turns on his heel and heads for the elevator again. If Thor can't find Loki then he'll just have to do some legwork himself. 

 

~~**~~

 

Finding an alien demi-god, as it turns out, isn't so easy. The villains seem to have all gone underground or at least don't notice that Captain America is out wandering by himself so even just walking down the street he's left alone. Steve isn't the type to bask in media attention, he likes it about as much as he likes a punch to the jaw, but it's something akin to lonely just walking around unbothered by any of the people who would normally want to stop to talk or fight. It's night before he finally stops to get a hot dog from one of the stands in Central Park-the guy who usually gushes about Captain America visiting his stand is quiet and doesn't feel up to making conversation when Steve tries. Though Steve supposes it might have to do with how he looks much like someone on the verge of homeless with his too big clothes and messed up hair. _Tony before he's had his coffee_. Stark had started visiting in the mornings too holding a coffee mug in his hand, his tablet in the other and Steve hadn't really questioned it. Combined with all of the other stuff-Tony falling asleep on Steve's couch while they listened to music, Tony giving him the access codes to the lab in case he ever wanted to come by-it doesn't feel like much. 

 

He isn't really surprised when Tony drops down from the air beside him as he's slowly ambling down the street towards the tower again. It's not really quiet or graceful but it's void of any AC/DC so there's that. The faceplate stays down because Tony has some sort of thing against keeping it open whenever he speaks to Steve in the suit. 

 

“Want to hit the gym? I mean-my gym. The gym. The,” the suit's hand makes a vague sort of circle motion, “everyone's gym. I could use a sparring partner that's not afraid of the suit.” 

 

“Aren't you afraid I'll get hurt?” 

 

“Terrified, actually, is the word you're looking for. I'm terrified I'm going to break you. But so is everyone else so I'm guessing that's not what you need right now.” 

 

“And you're always concerned with that.” 

 

“I get the 'I don't need help don't help me' thing, really I do. Ask Pepper, ask Rhodey, ask JARVIS even. I get it, Steve. And I get that you want to run in there and get Loki to turn you back through the power of America but we need a plan, here. I'm taking care of it.”

 

He sighs, shakes his head, “I'd better bring my inhaler.” 

 

“That wasn't my fault, by the way,” Tony opens his arms and Steve steps onto the armour's boot. He believes him about the inhaler. 

 

They fly the short distance to the Tower then head for the gym in the basement after a brief stop in Steve's room. He's been down here in the past weeks but not often with his shield because it's not his shield work that needs improving. He can still lift it but throwing it is out of the question of course. Regardless, it's a comforting weight in his hand and he hears the smirk in Tony's voice when he says, 

 

“I'm sure it missed you too.” 

 

Steve stills the hand that had been idly stroking the outside edge of his 'weapon' with a grunt, “you would cry if you lost your armour.” 

 

“Ooh, burned.” 

 

“Don't start with that, Tony. I hear it from Clint enough.” 

 

“Where do you think he got it?” the armour strikes a pose, one leg cocked with both thumbs pointed to the light in the centre of the chest plate. 

 

“He relies on the bow too much. If he runs out of arrows what happens then?” Steve pushes past the chit chat to the point he's been trying to make for awhile. If he's not there then the team needs to function even better as individual units-and Clint _does_ favour his bow just like Tony needs extra training outside of the suit. 

 

“He uses the bow as a weapon, waits for one of us to get him something else to use.” 

 

“That's the problem, Tony, he has to rely on you all to get to him in time when he should be able to fight just as well without his main weapon.”

 

Tony is thinking about it because the armour stills then shrugs, “I could make him a bow that turns into a sword.”

 

“That's just slowing down the inevitable. I want you and Clint to train with Natasha three times a week. She knows what she's doing.” 

 

“Uhhh...don't know if you've noticed but she hates my guts and is on a level of scary that's only otherwise achieved by Pepper,” the suit starts to peel away as Tony walks towards him, and puts a hand on Steve's shoulder, “we'll find a way to fix you before any spontaneous monster attacks.” 

 

“I know you will. But until then, you and Clint train with Widow three times a week.” 

 

“Fine, I get it. Take away the armour and-”

 

“No. You don't.” 

 

“Care to explain your thinking then, Steve, because we're not all blessed with your intellect. I mean, I'm a genius but you're...just gonna stop...digging my own grave here,” he's still close, hand still on Steve's shoulder for whatever reason. 

 

“I worry about you. And Clint. Of our team you two are the most vulnerable when you're without any weapon or armoured suit. I can't pull you out anymore if you're in trouble, Tony. This is all I can do to make sure you're alright when I'm not around.” 

 

Tony takes a deep breath and lets it out in a funny half laugh as he steps away, “wow. Did the serum do that 'I can say things like this with a straight face' thing or is that all you?” 

 

“I don't know what you mean.” 

 

He knows. But sometimes it makes him smile to see genius Tony Stark flail about for the right words. 

 

“Never mind. Not important. Just...I'm not as weak as you think I am and neither is Clint.” 

 

“I didn't say you were weak, I mean that you're human. There's nothing wrong with needing help.” 

 

That Steve knows intimately despite how he likes to try and do things on his own even without the serum. Tony needs to hear that it's okay, though. Because Tony is like him and is thinking now what he is without the suit, how breakable he is without it and he's trying to hide it. But it's written all over his face-every muscle that moves to make that cocky smirk is working overly hard to cover up the obvious. His hand is the one that reaches out this time-Tony is taller than he is like this so it's a bit of an incline-and comes to rest on Tony's bicep.

 

“You're an important part of this team, Tony. We can't lose you.” 

 

“You always guilt people into doing what you want them to do?” he yanks his arm away as if Steve's grip is too tight but it can't be. He does that fake sounding laugh again. 

 

“I'm not trying to-”

 

“Sure. Listen, forget about the sparring. I have work I have to do, whatever, this was a bad idea, forget I suggested it. I'll get Pepper to fix my schedule once I talk with Widow.” 

 

Steve stands in the middle of the gym for a long time after Tony leaves. He isn't really sure where he'd gone wrong with that. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4, or the chapter where everything gets kind of gay and Tony struggles internally with the fact that he really wants Steve's dick. Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

 

He's sketching the skyline when Widow's voice comes from his pocket-sure he's not really any help right now but he keeps his Avengers comm. Card on him at all time anyway. 

 

“Avengers, Assemble.” 

 

Steve gets his shield in record time and stands on the launch pad along with the rest of them in spite of the looks they're giving him. Serum or no serum he's an Avenger. And he's not going to stand idly by to let other people do all the hard work themselves just because he isn't at the peak of human perfection anymore. Clint looks to Widow who shakes her head and turns to Tony. 

 

“Think it might be best for you to sit this one out, Cap,” the modulated voice says. 

 

“No,” the only part of his costume that still fits is the cowl however he's got his shield-the rest of it doesn't matter too much. 

 

“Well, I tried. Who wants to tell Captain America no now? Batter up, come on, try it out.” 

 

Tony escapes while they're all giving each other 'no you' stares and Thor follows with Clint plastered to his side like a koala climbing a tree. 

 

“I think as the leader...”

 

“Go get angry, Banner. Cap, let's talk,” Natasha crosses her arms over her chest, both feet firmly planted on the floor. He'd put her in charge for that-her ability to get the job done even when it wasn't fun or convenient for her. 

 

“I'm not a child.”

 

“No, but you've got the strength of one. You want it straight? Here's the truth-I can't have you running missions with us and I think you know that. But we still need your brain. I'll get Stark to figure something out before the next one; we could use your tactics.” 

 

He sighs, “don't go catching all the villains without me.” 

 

“Are you kidding? I'll have them all in The Raft by dinner,” she smiles and is off. He has no idea where she got the jetpack but he's also not sure he wants to know. 

 

Steve strides into the interior of the building then looks to the ceiling, a habit he can't break, “JARVIS?”

 

“How may I be of assistance, Captain Rogers?” 

 

“Newsfeeds. Is there anyway you can show me what's going on out there?” 

 

“Of course, sir.” 

 

The feeds aren't as helpful as he would have hoped however they're enough. He can see what his team is doing and the exact moment when Tony starts blasting his music which just annoys the mutant fish from another dimension further. They're huge, some multi-coloured like the ones he'd seen in petshops nowadays, and they're trying to eat the Avengers with limited success. He isn't even sure how they're surviving never mind flying but after fighting Doombots, various living statues, and Namor's pals he's learned that sometimes a fella doesn't get a straight answer. 

 

“Shall I patch you in to the communicators, Captain?” 

 

“You can do that?” 

 

“I would not ask if I could not, Captain Rogers.” 

 

“Do it,” he frowns at the holographic screens in front of him. Tony is too reckless, too much about fighting with style and putting himself in danger for Steve's taste. He knows what it's like, needing to feel part of something. But that doesn't mean there won't be about the hundredth talk regarding reasonable risks to take during a fight. Despite all of his respect-Steve's seen him turn to see if he approves of a decision(even if he does it without approval) and he at least listens which is more than most can say-he's still too brash. He still runs in without a plan. 'I have an plan, attack' runs through his mind every time the armour goes blazing past him into danger, a chaser for all of the other thoughts trickling into his mind while he fights. Of course it's not just Tony he worries about, Tony is just the only one who gives him reason to. 

 

“Iron Man, want to explain to me why you just threw yourself into the path of a flying piranha?”

 

“Hi, mom. I'd explain it to you except I don't think you'd like my answer so I'm just going to say I'm sorry and continue doing what I was doing anyway.” 

 

“Are you missing the part where it could bite you in half?” 

 

“Are you missing the part where I saved Clint's ass? You owe me one, by the way, Barton.” 

 

“Shut up, Stark, I had him on the ropes.” 

 

“Cut the chatter, both of you. Cap, what are you seeing here?” Widow cuts in, voice sharp. 

 

“It looks like there's some sort of portal they're coming through. I'll get The Fantastic Four on the line, Richards might know what to do.” 

 

She mutters something in Russian he goes ahead and assumes is an uncharitable thought about Reed and his penchant for dimensional portals. Steve doesn't really want to know which universe has giant flying piranha except to avoid it. Widow is running up the back of an eel on one of the screens then a second later she jams her Widow's Bite into its head. It doesn't like it much judging by the way it thrashes around. She goes flying but Thor is snatching her out of the air before she gets to close to the ground-Steve watches her leap back onto the damn thing and pull out her guns. No one would ever be able to call her anything but tenacious in front of him, that was for sure. Thor leaves her to it to smack some fish upside the head with Mjolnir and he at least appears to be having a good time until a tail slams him into the ground. Steve opens his mouth to alert the others but Natasha is already there and beating the hell out of the thing. Thor then bursts out of the ground and through the animal's body in a spray of scales and fish guts. He still seems to be having a good time.

 

“No, no, don't call him. Cap, don't.”

 

“Just because you have issues with him-”

 

“I don't have _issues_ with him. Look, we can get rid of all these things and then we can call Reed,” the repulsors send a smaller fish careening into an office building, “fish and chips for lunch anyone?” 

 

“Or we can stop more from coming through.”

 

“You've already called him.”

 

“Yes.” 

 

He spends the next few minutes explaining the situation to Mr. Fantastic who feels not very fantastic about his experiment being interrupted for the sake of flying fish however he closes the portal within the hour leaving them with 60 foot long fish flopping around on the streets of Manhattan. Steve vaguely recalls seeing a Godzilla movie where there had been this much fish(Tony hadn't liked it much) but there's a shortage of Japanese movie monsters on hand for cleanup as usual. SHIELD takes care of the remnants of the fish “attack” leaving the Avengers free to get their post victory meals. 

 

Tony retreats to the workshop immediately to avoid the 'talk' but Steve follows. It wont be as easy to get into the workshop when he's this small considering he can't just punch his way through windows or walls if he wants to but the door isn't locked when he checks. He covers his surprise with being assaulted by Tony's music the second he steps inside. It's impolite to mess with a man's radio, sure, but Steve has gotten over that in light of how Tony won't turn it down himself. JARVIS lowers the volume so he can actually hear himself think and heads over to where Tony is doing a very good impression of somehow engrossed in their work. 

 

“Tony.” 

 

“Steve.”

 

“What happened out there? Is there some reason why you think that getting swallowed by animals from different dimensions is a good idea?” he crosses his arms over his chest which he's sure makes no difference what so ever in how authoritative he looks because he's so scrawny. 

 

“Weakest point is in the middle. What, getting soft on me, Cap?” 

 

“This isn't what that's about. You walked out on me last week, why?” he'll give him the reasonable risk lecture later. Right now he's getting to the bottom of that particular occurrence. Steve can't help thinking of how women had hated when he just straight out asked things before the serum, like someone who was his size should be seen and not heard. He'd never been really good at keeping quiet. 

 

“Don't know what you're talking about,” Tony is welding enthusiastically now as if he's never seen something more interesting than what appears to be a toaster. 

 

“Fine. Friday, June 28th, 6pm in the gym. You said you would spar with me and then you just left. I'm asking why.” 

 

“Thought I made it clear.” 

 

“You thought wrong. You're the genius-explain it to me, Tony,” he leans against the table not occupied by toasters in spite of how Tony looks over. The torch goes off. 

 

“If you want me to do something just tell me to do it, Cap, don't act like it's for my own good. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself.” 

 

“I'm trying to take care of you the best I can, Tony. You might not want it, but that's how I run a team. A team I want you on,” he just talks because it's easier that way, easier than trying to find words that aren't too strange for friends to say to each other. He doesn't correct himself to say 'taking care of the team' like he had wanted to, he doesn't look away from Tony's face despite his eyes being hidden by goggles. He's small but if anything he needs to be more direct now. More in Tony's face about things. 

 

“I don't need you to take care of-”

 

“I want to. Take care of you. You know Bucky...He was the one who always saved my skin after I'd been beaten up and now that he's gone...I'm fine on my own but you...You can take care of yourself, Tony, but you don't like to. Why?” 

 

Tony laughs but it's stilted, “that's what you think?” 

 

“I think you're my teammate and my friend and I worry about you. That's what I think.” 

 

“This is all very heartwarming, Cap, but I have work to do.” 

 

“That's a toaster.”

 

“Yeah, and it will be awesome.”

 

“Are you angry I made Natasha team leader?” that might be it. He might have hit the nail on the head with that and there's a moment of triumph before Tony shakes his head like he can't believe what he's hearing. 

 

“Not angry at anything, Cap.”

 

“Then why did you leave?” 

 

“Hate to be a downer, Steve, but you looked tired. You walked around all day looking for Loki like some sad dog looking for its owner and I couldn't...I didn't want to hurt you more. I wanted to tuck you into bed or something because you were about to fall over but I forgot, you're the only one allowed to run himself ragged for something and not accept any help. As soon as I do it I get a lecture, but Captain America can kill himself all he wants because no one wants to discuss the fact that he's as vulnerable as all of us now,” Tony's face shifts from blank to annoyed and something else the more he talks until he's finished, “I'm trying to help you, Steve; weird how you can be worried about me but as soon as I'm worried about you, you're pissy.” 

 

“I'm not killing myself,” his face feels like it's made of stone with how rigid his jaw is. 

 

Tony runs a hand through his hair, “forget it.” 

 

“No, I understand.” 

 

“If you say anything about me thinking you're weak, I swear to Thor I will-”

 

“I...”

 

“You're human, Steve. There's nothing wrong with needing help.” 

 

He sighs, lets his back bow and his eyes drop to the floor because Tony is right but he doesn't want him to be. “I should have been out there with you all today.” 

 

“I wanted you to be. Just trust me. I'll find some way to turn you back.” 

 

“And if I never go back to being Captain America?” 

 

“Pessimism is kind of my thing, Cap,” Tony taps a finger against Steve's chest, “your strength came from a bottle, Steve and maybe your hair, haven't figured that one out yet, but Captain America came from there. Jesus, I just said that out loud. JARVIS, that never leaves this room.”

 

“Of course, sir.”

 

He tries not to smile at the memory of Erskine telling him to above all remain a good man, of poking him in the chest then drinking schnapps by himself. Steve doesn't let the next part of the memory come too close to the surface. “I'm being realistic. I should be doing more.” 

 

“Since we're already admitting embarrassing things...your ass? Still fantastic. And no, not really. I've got it under control, been talking to Thor and he's got a few leads on Loki. Just keep doing squats or something, seriously how do you even...”

 

“How much longer?” there's no point in addressing the comment about his body because Tony says things like that to pretty much everyone. 

 

“Don't know. But soon, Cap.” 

 

“I trust you,” he looks back up, meets Tony's goggled eyes. 

 

Tony nods as if he can't quite come up with a witty comment in return to that, “so, food?”

 

“Sounds good.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama! Steve and Tony making dramatic confessions to each other! Fish guts!!!!! But yeah. I rewrote that last scene at least 4 times...Anyway, thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6; or, the chapter where Steve has feelings. Sorry I took so long to update, I've been agonizing over my Cap-Iron Man big bang fic for the past month OTL. I have at least three started-one has reached the 25k minimum and the other two are halfway so that's my excuse and I'm stickin' to it!

The call to assemble goes up and Steve gets into position-he can't fight anymore but he'd been having success with being a strategist. Tony only listened to his advice about half the time however it's a debate that's been rehashed at least three times without any success so Steve waits for it to become a real problem before saying anything again. Tony knows his feelings on the matter and he'd promised just last night that he wouldn't be so reckless, would let Thor help him when he needed it. Of course that's probably exactly why ten minutes after everyone reaches the site of the explosion Tony is flying through the air like a ragdoll and not responding. He's on his feet and running to the elevator way before anyone thinks to tell him to stay put. 

“JARVIS, can you tell me what's happening?” 

“Of course, sir. It appears Mr. Stark is in need of medical attention-location is three blocks south of Central Park.” 

“Thank you.”

“May I suggest, Captain Rogers, that you take a cab?” 

The thought hadn't occurred to him, really, because before he would have just run there but his lungs would never go for that now. 

“Cap, what the hell are you doing?” Natasha sounds firm albeit a little bit rattled and from the gunfire in the background he's not surprised. 

“Finding Tony.” 

“Leave it to Clint, he-”

“NO.” 

He should leave it to Clint, he should and yet there's something that makes him keep running and it's something he didn't expect. It isn't that he's never thought about men before, but Tony is his friend and that could be awkward. But it doesn't matter because he's seen Tony fall from the sky before and he woke up. This time he could be unlucky. This time it would be Steve's fault, no question of the dignity of choice, just pure human error. He'd told Tony to get that close, told Tony to keep on the enemy and even if he hadn't known that said enemy had a suicide switch it's still his fault. He should have seen it coming, would have seen it coming if he'd been there, if he hadn't been so weak. Tony needs him to look out for him because he does such a poor job of it on his own and above all the worry and anger at himself he feels like an irresponsible ass. Tony is his responsibility like they all are and he'd failed and that's one thing he can't abide in himself. 

“Thor, keep them contained to one place, we have to keep them from getting any closer to civilians,” Natasha's orders are what his would have been if he still sat in the tower. 

She hands out orders for everyone as well while he hails a cab and snaps at the driver where he's headed. There's a radio report on it right now and they're asking where Captain America could be at a time like this, if Tony Stark will get back up, if The Avengers can actually stop the threat. He very nearly tells the cabbie to turn it off but then he's in the area where Tony had gone down and jumping out of the car. As an afterthought he throws a couple of bills in the direction of the front seat before yelling for Tony to answer. 

“JARVIS?” 

“I am attempting to locate Mr. Stark.” 

His chest is already burning despite how he's only run a grand total of three minutes and he's forgotten his inhaler back home-it doesn't matter. 

JARVIS tells him coordinates and he sprints towards them without another thought. The armour stands out against the grey buildings easily making it a matter of just making it over to it without falling over dead which he barely manages. He drops to his knees, the unyielding pavement will bruise them for sure but all that matters is getting him out, getting him safe. 

“Tony? Tony, answer me,” his voice is firm for all that it wants to wobble because he's still on the communicators and he can't let the others be distracted by worry any more than they already are, “I've got him, Widow.”

“Good,” comes her terse reply and now more than ever he wants to be in the fray. Idles hands do the devil's work his mother had always said and his hands have been idle for far too long. 

The light in Tony's chest, the reactor flickers as if warning him-he knows he doesn't want it to go out, has seen that once already. His hand covers the blue-ish light for a second, willing it to stay alight before asking JARVIS to remove the armour. If Thor or Banner were here he could have them just rip it off but Tony probably wouldn't have liked that anyway. 

The armour peels away from his body with jerky movements indicative of the damage it had sustained and the chest plate refuses to fully come off no matter how he tugs at it to help it along. The helmet stays on only because he doesn't know how to take it off.

“Tony!” Bucky is the one slumped against the wall now. Bucky is dying, is slipping away while Steve is powerless to do anything. He loops his arm around Tony's now unarmoured waist and tries to pull him to his feet. Tries and fails. His muscles shriek at him to just let him go let him fall back to the ground and leave him there but he won't this time. He tumbles to the pavement with Tony and narrowly avoids being crushed but he won't stop. He won't let someone else fall away from his attempts at rescue. Tony isn't Bucky, Natasha isn't Peggy. But they're too close for his brain to differentiate now when he's got Tony's weight resting fully on him and Natasha asking him if he's alright. Maybe it's wrong and in the back of his mind he knows that comparing them isn't right because they aren't them but it keeps him inching forward though his legs shake and his feet barely lift off the ground. They're going home as a team. He can save him, he can yank him in out of the cold and call him stupid for being so reckless so that Tony can turn around and do it all over again next time. 

He fights his way to the opening of the alley, not letting himself rest despite how his body is ready to throw in the towel-he's better than this. Small, scrawny, asthmatic or not he is Captain America and for all it had been corny he focuses on Tony telling him that the mantle didn't come from his physical form. 

Slide one foot forward, the second, keep going, soldier. 

“Sir, may I suggest-”

“No, JARVIS,” he snarls and he'll apologize later for being rude to a computer he's certain. 

“Mr. Stark's vital signs are not yet stable.”

“Okay,” the words come out as he exhales and it's then he notices he's not alone. 

A crowd has gathered just like the day he'd gotten that woman in the car killed but they don't stand idly by. A woman steps forward, doesn't try to push him aside as she slides her arm around Tony's waist, below Steve's and helps him.

“I already called an ambulance, Cap,” she says and for a second he wishes she didn't know him because he would be able to play himself off as someone else. But he isn't a coward-he has to face the public's scrutiny eventually and she gives him a nod when he gestures to the wall of the building. 

“Thank you for your help, ma'am,” he deposits Tony on the ground again before keeping a vigil at his side. The bulk of his weight rests against the exterior of the skyscraper but no one mentions it. 

“You're one of ours,” she replies, all stoic expressions and then, “would you mind signing my iphone?”

“Uh...Sure.”

He signs with the well practised signature they'd had him use in the USO and she grins. There's the telltale sign of an ambulance but before that the silence of SHIELD. They don't take long to cart them both off despite the group of people that had all clustered around him for autographs. SHIELD will be able to handle him better than the regular hospital will although he knows when Tony does wake up he'll be angry that Steve had just let them take him. 

~~**~~

Pepper Potts is there first and he fights back a cringe at her close scrutiny, “Captain Rogers?” 

“I know, I've...”

“No, I just wasn't expecting you to still be here,” she shakes her head, fingers tapping away on her phone as she presumably informs all others who need to know Tony has been hospitalized. Her face is suspiciously red and when she gets closer to the bed he sees the last vestiges of tears on her cheeks in the form of tracks in her foundation. Her hand covers Tony's and he knows they're not involved anymore-too much danger-but he knows how love doesn't just vanish. Not when someone loves Tony. He makes it too difficult from the get go and Steve tries not to think about what that means for him. 

“They said he'll be okay. The reactor got knocked loose but they have him under because...”

“He'll break out the first chance he gets.”

“Right.” 

Her head turns and she examines him again, “have you gotten checked out too, Captain?”

“Just Steve is fine. I'm okay, I don't need anything.”

It's mostly true. He feels the bruises on his arm and side and knees but they aren't life threatening. They'd given him an inhaler the first minute they'd been in the SHIELD ambulance so all that remains of the building asthma attack is a memory of how his lungs had felt like they'd been being squeezed by the armour's gauntlet. He's fine and Tony will be once he wakes up but for all of the reassurance that the emergency is over, that he can give in to the very tempting option of sleeping off the pain in his body he doesn't want to take his eyes off of him for longer than a moment. The other Avengers hadn't made it here yet though they'd given him reports every ten minutes since-there isn't anything to worry about there either. 

“He's the most infuriating person you'll ever be with,” she says like she knows though she can't. 

“Already is.”

“He'll say stupid things, he'll do stupid things a lot.” 

“I know.”

“Sometimes you'll question why you even still want to be with him. But you'll stay.” 

He nods, “I don't do short term, Ms. Potts.”

“Good, because contrary to what he'd have everyone believe neither does he.” 

They sit in silence watching the steady rise and fall of Tony's chest. He isn't sure what to do about what he'd just admitted to.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Tony are socially awkward penguins and Tony makes Steve a present.

 

“Hey there, I'd like to remind you that when you were in the same position I helped you escape,” Tony says the moment he raises his head as if he'd been waiting with bated breath for him to wake up so he could say exactly that. 

 

Steve shakes his head, smiles a little because he'd known it would come,“you had a suit.” 

 

“I have Captain America, what could go wrong? Seriously, name one thing-no, five things.” 

 

“One: you could get hurt, two: we could get caught, three:-”

 

“Okay but I'm bored.”

 

“I had Pepper bring you your tablet,” he replies with false cheerfulness and produces said tablet from where it had been resting on his lap. 

 

“She just wants me to read paperwork, come on, I'm fine. I know it, you know it, hell the doctors probably know it too but they're keeping me here to do experiments on me,” Tony's mouth droops into a pout that probably shouldn't look as adorable as it does. 

 

“Fury told me if I let 'that son of a bitch Stark' escape I'd be in a 'whole fuckton of trouble'.”

 

“What? No. Fury said that to _you_? Tell the others to pack it in we're all going to die that's all-”

 

“I might have spoken to him about sending my team into dangerous situations with no intel before he said that,” Steve smooths down the edges of Tony's blanket and maybe the pain meds are making Tony loopy but he starts cackling like an evil stepmother, “it's not funny, Tony. I meant it. I nearly clocked him.”

 

“You almost _clocked_ _Fury._ Hope it was from the left side. Did anyone record this? I want to see this.”

 

“It wasn't and no. Tony, I shouldn't have-”

 

“Not having this conversation with you.” 

 

He squares his shoulders, clenches his jaw, “I almost got you killed.” 

 

“Actually no, it was those robots that almost got me killed. How are the others holding up?” 

 

“It was my order that sent you that close,” and it's impossible for Tony to let anyone else take the blame for his near death experiences because Tony is an idiot about this sort of thing, “they managed to take the rest out but there are parts all over the place. I got them to bring one in in case you wanted to take it apart.” 

 

“I love you-I mean. In a totally platonic way. Uh...I _chose_ to listen to your order which, let's be honest with ourselves here I don't choose to listen to orders often. Anyway, I'm getting out of here you're either in or you're out, Cap.” 

 

It's not like he has any choice. Before he could have easily made Tony stay but now he couldn't even if he wanted to-Tony had said it himself, he doesn't choose to listen to orders very often and he would even less from someone half his size. Besides, Tony would do better at home where Steve could watch him, make sure he wasn't working too hard. In a totally platonic way. Tony had made it clear enough he isn't interested or at least not in anything more than friends and Steve isn't really surprised. “I'm in.”

 

“But?”

 

“But when we get home you have to go right to bed.”

 

“Don't need sleep, Cap, I've been sleeping all day. You gotta sweeten the pot on this one,” he says then a second later, “let me study your shield.” 

 

“Fine.” 

 

Tony's face quickly shifts from surprise and elation because Steve lets one person touch his shield-himself-to suspicion, “shake on it. Gentleman's agreement.”

 

As if those words are magic and Steve would never back out of a 'gentleman's agreement'. Which he wouldn't so he takes the hand outstretched, “as soon as you sleep you can look at it. But I want to be there while you do.”

 

“Sure, sure, it's your baby, I get it. Wouldn't want me running around with priceless artifacts either.”

 

“Let's go, the doctors will want to check on you soon.” 

 

Tony is a lot easier to break out of the SHIELD hospital than he had been thanks to the lack of wires physically tethering him to machines but they still have to duck into a supply closet anyway and Tony has his entire body pressed against him while they wait for the attending to pass. There's a broom jabbing into his back but when he looks up Tony has a grin on his face that Steve only sees thanks to a dim light on the ceiling he finds he doesn't mind as much. His heart is racing like he's talking to a dame-woman, they like to be called women now-which really makes his face feel like it'll burn up. He should be better at this by now. Even when a bucket nearly falls on his head when they're leaving Steve still smiles back when Tony looks over his shoulder. Bucky would say that he's got it bad. Steve would have to agree. 

 

By the time they're back at the tower Fury has already called them four times and left four equally angry sounding messages about mother fuckers always breaking out of shit like they're fuckin' Superman which Steve doesn't even try to understand the meaning of. The others are sitting in the living room nursing their wounds or eating and he tries to steer Tony away from the sitting area immediately or else he'll spend the entire night talking to them and not sleeping. 

 

“You okay, Stark?” Clint asks from where he's perched himself on the arm of the couch. He looks uninjured, luckily but that's all it is-luck. 

 

“Yeah, almost died of boredom, seriously, Barton watching you fight is like watching paint dry.”

 

“Shut up and let your husband tuck you in.”

 

Steve knows it's a joke, logically. His mind still reacts anyway because it tells him that he needs to set the record straight, really, it won't look even stranger for him to reply, “I'm not his husband. We're just friends.” 

 

Clint just laughs until Natasha shoves him with her uninjured arm and Steve pushes Tony towards the elevator. And then he laughs some more until the elevator doors close. 

 

“Just friends, Cap? And I thought all that private time in the supply closet meant something to you,” Tony smirks though his hand has shifted from hanging at his side to pressing against his ribs. 

 

“Don't make jokes like that, Tony. Someone might get the wrong idea.”

 

He snorts, rolls his eyes, “yeah. Wouldn't want that.”

 

“I mean it. I trust everyone here to be discreet but other people might not be so caring.” 

 

“About what? Making a joke?” 

 

“Yeah, making a really stupid joke. Have a little bit of tact,” he breathes out, trying to calm himself down because it isn't Tony's fault he can't think of the right words to say what he wants to. But it is still a stupid joke. 

 

“Who pissed in your four bowls of cornflakes this morning?” and here we go. 

 

“You almost _died_ Tony,” the elevator dings and they both step out as if they really need to be continuing such an idiotic argument, “I could have watched you die and I wouldn't have been able to do anything.”

 

“But I didn't.” 

 

“You could have! Why the hell do you have to be so damn reckless?! You could have been killed-you'd think the other four times you've been stupid like that would have been a lesson!” 

 

“You asked me to go in, just in case you, I don't know, forgot!” 

 

They're well and truly yelling now, yelling like they had in the helicarrier, in the workshop, in the kitchen except this time there's no outside influence and sesame seed bagels have been ordered in bulk. Steve has to look up now to meet Tony's eye but it doesn't matter. He can do this all day if he has to. 

 

“I fucked up! Is that what you wanted to hear? I should have thought that things were going too well but I didn't. I made a mistake.” 

 

Bucky would have known what it meant for him to say that. But Tony isn't Bucky. 

 

“The only person who made a mistake was those robots. Seriously, fuschia?”

 

“Don't change the subject.” 

 

“Already did, unless you have more to yell about. But us big boys have work to do so you should maybe...leave?” Tony starts heading for what Steve knows isn't the workshop but there's little point in catching him in a lie unless he _wants_ Tony to not sleep. Which he doesn't.

 

“I should have known, Tony. What's next, my brain? Was that all the serum too?” he snaps though he hadn't even been thinking that at all, hadn't noticed a difference in his mental abilities but maybe it's true. Maybe that is next. Maybe it's already happened. 

 

“Cap,” that makes him stop and maybe it wouldn't have before all of this, maybe he would have just kept going and Steve doesn't want pity but Tony is the last person who will give it to him.

 

“Is it? Do you know for sure? Because I don't.”

 

He should have wanted to keep it quiet and yet he keeps talking anyway, “I can't go back to being the way I was, Tony.”

 

“This is all very rousing-emotional, even-but you need to stop and wow, never thought I'd say that to you. I mean, aside from 'Steve stop being a party-pooper and do the body shot'. I told you before, being secretly insecure is my thing so stop doing it.”

 

“You almost died today and I couldn't do anything.” 

 

Tony rolls his eyes, “but I _didn't_. You keep saying that but I didn't die. I'm here and mostly alive-be more alive after coffee but-I'm not dead.”

 

“You could have, Tony, and that's enough for me. You're important,” he keeps his eyes locked on him then adds, “To the team, I mean.”

 

“...Do you need to cry? Is that what this is? Steve, do you need a hug?”

 

“No.”

 

“Okay.” 

 

Tony sticks his hands in his pockets and meanders over slowly, as if he's fooling anyone then grabs his arm before he can get back into the elevator, “come on, Cap, I got a new shield with your name on it.” 

 

Steve resists the urge to say he doesn't _need_ a new shield because if he's making him a shield then he must want him out on missions again which makes him more excited than it probably should. But no one could ever say he hadn't been trying to keep busy. He's read almost every book in the library by now, he volunteers though they never know it's him, and he trains. Of course all of those things can't match the adrenaline rush of being out there with his team-he even stayed home from PR events which is a blessing in disguise but it only serves to cut a harsh contrast between him and them. Not letting him go on missions is the right thing to do, it's what he would have done though it makes it no less frustrating to know that so he follows Tony to the front room. They'd apprehended Loki here, not that anyone would know it by looking at it. 

 

The place has remained clean despite how Pepper has moved out for reasons Steve doesn't pretend to know although pieces of small devices litter a couple of the tables. Tony grabs a drink before he saunters over to pick up an unremarkable looking wrist cuff. Of course, knowing Tony the thing is probably far from unremarkable. 

 

He presses a button on the side prompting what looks like Steve's shield to materialize on his wrist. Steve must be gawking because Tony smirks, “awesome, right? Doesn't weigh anything and catching it is just as easy,” he slides it off his arm then hands it over, “Come on, try it on, it runs on some form of electricity but you shouldn't have any trouble Steve come on hurry up put it on.” 

 

The wristcuff doesn't feel heavy on his arm, doesn't feel anything like the shield either but he'll take what he can get. A grin breaks out on his face, “Tony, this is...”

 

“Couldn't stand to see you pouting. Throw it come on, Steve, it's not just decoration.” 

 

It takes no strength at all to launch this shield-he cringes as a picture frame crashes to the floor but Tony is too busy grinning to do anything other than waving it off like it's nothing. “Took me longer than I wanted but you can use it or just you know, have it and stuff. Uh, when you're out or something.” 

 

“Thank you, Tony.” 

 

This had probably taken longer than Tony should have spent on something for Steve however he would give him a look if he even suggested that he couldn't accept the gift. He has to make it up somehow.

 

“No problem...” he punches Steve on the shoulder, “champ. Why did I say that.”

 

“Can I...take you to dinner sometime? As a thank you. Or something?” it isn't anything and Tony probably gets asked out to dinner all the time and he suddenly can't speak properly even though Tony isn't a woman which makes his face slowly turn red despite his best efforts. It isn't a date, it's not supposed to be, really, so he shouldn't be this nervous. 

 

“What? You don't have to thank me, like I said, was tired of seeing you...your face. Being sad. You know what? Sure, take me to dinner once I get changed,” Tony shakes his head at himself and mutters something that might be 'you're being ridiculous, stop it' under his breath. 

 

“Are you sure? We don't have a reservation.” 

 

Tony stares at him, “I'm Tony Stark, Steve, what is a reservation?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of the holographic shield they used in EMH and also the latest issue of Cap and Iron Man team up comic so I had to include it c:. I should probably try to wrap this up soon it's getting out of hand and there has been no kissing yet how frustrating is that?! Kissing will come next chapter I promise. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll have another chapter up probably by next week. <3


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